DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THIS EPISODE OF WEEDS YET, TURN AWAY NOW. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LOAD THIS SITE’S FEED INTO GOOGLE READER (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR AVID INTERNET USERS) AND THEN KEEP THIS POST UNREAD and/or GOLD STAR IT AND COME BACK TO IT LATER. I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING THE EXPERIENCE OF GETTING TO WATCH THIS EPISODE AND EXPERIENCING TELEVISION THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXPERIENCED.

first of all, where is that masseuse from? hmmmm … snappy hispanic woman, where have i seen her before? *jogs memory* ANA LUCIA’s MOM IN LOST! apparently that’s about as much excitement as i’m going to get from this scene (and clearly nancy isn’t getting a happy ending so none for her either). seriously, that scene ended without absolute any relevance for me and definitely didn’t excite me [yes, i do realize it will probably make sense later but that would run the humor in my snarky comments, woudln't it now?]. it better have a purpose in this episode.

an awesome recipe for screwdrivers that I just might have to try: 1 can of OJ from concentrate:1 bottle of Stoli. smart thinking. cut the water out and give that liver a good workout. who needs water to reduce the alcohol % by volume of your drink?!? now celia continues to amuse with her outlandish bitchi-/craziness. i admit i get annoyed because sometimes her behavior is so far out of the norm that you just can’t believe any human acting like that but damn does it make for good entertainment.

scene three of this and i’m starting to pick up on several cases of possible product placement. *advertising hat comes on* first it was the stoli in the scene before. that one makes sense because i know they had that big product placement in mad men a week or two ago. but the box of nutri-grain bars on the counter in the kitchen. so out of place and screams product placement. someone, somewhere is surely putting their finger down on a calculator and crunching some numbers to go back and tell their client how much value their lame attempt at a product placement garnered. hmmm i wonder how the quantify value of a premium network product placement. *advertising hat comes off because it’s probably boring the f- out of you*

swine flu. that was my first thought as soon as silas walked into his step-sisters room (i’d try and remember her name but let’s be serious, the chances she’ll be in anymore episodes is slim to none and even if she is it won’t be a large role). okay so that’s not true, at first i thought the step-sister was trying to start a bad re-enactment of the step-brother/step-sister scene in cruel intentions. one should never go up against the hotness of sarah michelle gellar and ryan phillippe. so anyway, after i noticed the sweat and realized she wasn’t try to play light as a feather, stiff as a board i immediatley ruled her sickness as swine flu. i’m qualified to make that decision. just today i was on webmd looking up to see if i was getting carpal tunnel syndrome or the flu and was able to clarify my diagnosis and determine that i actually have emphysema. yay webmd! back to weeds … awkward. i do not like the druggie step-sister. asking someone to shoot her up and then vomitting. gross.

the mini-van andy buys is lame. he’s trying too hard to act mature. i can’t even stand it. alanis morissette acting though? love it. not as good as her role as god in dogma though. once you’ve played god you just can’t top that. just look at morgan freeman. he couldn’t even reprise his role as god well enough in evan almighty. moving on …

the whole pilar-nancy-druglord love triangle thing is starting to get annoying. the nancy-guillermo sexual tension thing though? irresistible.

OOOOOO. they brought back the jonathan guy (aka maulik pancholy apparently) from 30 rock for a guest appearance! excellent!

silas enjoys the bubbles, and let’s be honest, we can’t blame him. normally i would be put off by silas’ increasing alcohol consumption given he’s underage and i would feel awkward. however, i find it oddly amusing and appropriate. probably has something to do with the fact he just might be the most mature character on the show.

OMG OMG OMG.

and then i just got to the part where he whacks pilar in the head with the croquet mallet. awesome. those last 30 seconds absolutely made up for the first two minutes of this episode. good ol’ dustin told me there would be a moment during the show where i would gasp and that was it. pretty fucking awesome.

awesome meter verdict: 7.5 out of 10 awesomes [saved by silas' entry into the mexican mafia]